Many of us may have the funny thought that the food, clothing and care will provide for our parents when we have come of age and start earning our livings are equal to birthing they had born us, the weaning , upbringing and the good hearts and blessed prayers they had offered for our successes hitherto!
Nay! If we are friends and takers of reality, we will realize by now that paying back our parents for what they do in our lives is one of impossibilities of life! Or imagine the gruelling daily difficulties the fathers encounter so as to earn a living and provide for the families ; think of debasement here and there they face in the hands of their bosses and managers in their bids to save you and I of the disgrace in begging from our families, friends and outsiders!
Visualize, if you think you can repay the goodness of their mothers in all these years on how they had bored the pains of pregnancy, the miserableness accompanied birthing whereby an expectant mothers will transform from their normal healthy selves to like indisposed local goats which sleep indiscriminately every minute without having the strength to do other things!
And if that do not suffice you, look at how your mother has raised you_ the sleepiness nights , the nights of hunger so that you might be satisfied health wise and in psychological sense! Think and think and think of her constant prayers here and there over your matters so that you meet the demands of your time and equal your mates in material and spiritual ways!
Parents , to say the obvious things,both their kinder ones and less magnanimous types , are not your mates in goodness! It is in recognition of all what parents are doing that the Creator of parents and children, Allah Has enjoined the receivers of all the good of the parents,i.e, their children, to be good to the parents again when they too have come of age. We read this in Qu’ran: 31: 14 as follows:
” And We have enjoined on man to be good to his parents; for in travail upon travail did his mother bear him. And for two years was his weaning: ( for that) : show gratitude to me ( God) and your parents: to me is your final goal”
Not only that, in another place in the Book of Allah, Al- Qu’ran, the needs to be kind to parents are brought up again. We read this in Qu’ran 17: 23-25 thus :
” Your Lord Has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to your parents. Whether one or both them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt , nor repel them but address them , in terms of honour.
” And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility , and say : “My Lord! Bestow on them your Mercy as they cherished me in childhood
” Your Lord knows best what is in your hearts : if you do deeds of righteousness, verily He is most Forgiving to those who turn to Him again and again in tried penitence”
Allama Yusuf Ali while commenting on the verses above maintains that to honour one’s parents does not equal to the honour they had conferred on one as there is nothing one can do that can compensate them on what they had done to one before now!
Besides, honouring one’s parents by being kindhearted to them , by showing humility in one’s conduct to them etc should not be because one is seeking through honouring them that one’s days of life may be long upon land, but because it goes beyond that and instead entails adhering strictly to the higher Wisdom of Allah , who knows the worth of one’s parents hitherto!
This is the very reason it does amaze me and throw me off balance when children do not want to show courtesy for their parents; when they have means to be good to the vehicles that had been instrumental to their coming to the world but due to the worldly influence from their wives and friends, they are not!
It beats one imagination the more, when children hold the material things they purchased for the comfort of their parents as equal to coming down from their horses to physically care for their parents!
These days, those children and wards that are living in the same countries are still finding it difficult to pay one or two occasional scheduled and unscheduled visits to their parents yearly ! What they know how to do best is sending money through other people or to the bank accounts of their parents without caring how their parents are being faired in their appearance, health and hygienic dispositions!
Some of them are not even doing the little above. They do not bother to ask after those who had sired them either by sending money to them or by coming to see them occasionally! During the festive periods where blessed children do pay visitation to their places of birth with a view to bonding with their parents and relatives, they do not bother , on their own to come and if they come, some of them come because of their long time friends and stay with these friends or in hotels
May be they do not know the benefits in bonding with one’s parents all the time and at their twilight, in particular! Here are some of the benefits of establishing good rapports with one’s parents according to prophet Muhammad ( salla-llahu alehi wasalam):
It Is One Of The Dearest Deeds To Allah
According to Ibn Mas’ud who said that I asked the prophet ( salla-llahu alehi wasalam) : which deed is the most dearest to God? He answered me : ” Observing the daily canonical prayers at their times! Then I asked further: which other deed is dearest to Him? He ( the prophet) said: goodness to parents ! And I probed the more : which other one and said : ” fighting in the ways of God!”
It Is A Sure Means To The Paradise
In another experience as narrated by Abu-Huraerat ( may the Lord be pleased with him) , that the prophet ( salla-llahu alehi wasalam) said :
” He will be humiliated , he will be humiliated and he will be humiliated!; The one who meets one of his parents at their old age but who does not enter paradise because of them ( by being kind and good with them)
Be good And Kind To One’s Parents Is Part Of Fighting In Allah’s Ways
‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar narrated an Hadith as follows :
” A man came to the prophet ( salla-llahu alehi wasalam) taking permission from him to allow him to join the soldiers the prophet were sending to the battle front but the prophet instead asked him:” are your parents alive?” The man replied him with affirmation that they are alive and the prophet ( salla-llahu alehi wasalam) said:” on both of them strive ! I.e in both
of them lies your fighting in the way of Allah!”
With the above prophetic traditions and nuggets , one should be able to situate the place of parents in one’s life while one will be able to come to the realization of the fact that no matter how higher one’s goodness to parents is, one cannot reach its peak unless…
One Cannot Reach The Peak Of Goodness To One’s Parents Unless..
The only act mentioned by the scholars of all the schools of law in Islam that has the semblance of equaling the kindness and goodness of one’s parents to one is only when one meets one’s parents under bondage as slaves and one strives until one buy their freedom and set them free!
The evidence for this ruling is contained in the Hadith of Abu-Huraerah ( Radiya-llahu anhu) , who said that the prophet ( salla-llahu alehi wasalam) said that :
” No child can pay back the goodness of his parents to him unless he meets them under bondage as slaves and he buys their freedom and set them free afterwards”
So from today henceforth, know that all your kindness to your parents which still make you to be pompous and arrogant to them, no matter their worths, cannot measure up to the good the Lord of the universe Had done for you through them! And know further, that whatever you do to them is what you will harvest on your children too when they have come of age as you are doing to your parents now!
Rewards Are Always In The Guise Of The Deeds ; It Is What You Do To Your Parents That You Reap From Your Own Children Tomorrow!
A story is told of by Islamic scholars in their books about a man who was under his old father taking good care of him until he felt tired of taking care of the old man and stood up for his matter. One day he drove the old man to a desert so as to end his life once and for all!
On reaching the desert area, the old man asked his son : ” what do you want to do to me?” As if he was on cue already knowing within himself that his son was about to end his life! The son without hesitation answer his father :” yes father I want to kill you!”
The old man hence retorted: ” Is this the reward of being good to you before now?” And the son blinked no eyes while he answered his father :” father there is no escape today, I will surely end your life!”
The old man quipped :” o son if you have no option except to kill me, do not let it be here but over there!” The son sensing something asked the father : What is your problem and how does that affect you whether I kill you here or there?”
The old man said: ” if rewards are in the guise of the deeds , then kill me not here but behind that stone over there , indeed I had killed my own father over there too! But know that you are going to be rewarded as you have done today to me!”
Lovers reading this, take a cue from the story above and be good and kind always to your parents, know that it is how you do now to them your children will be to you in the nearest future; there is no partiality in Allah’s judgement and if you had planted the onion you will definitely harvest not vegetables!
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