Enjoy, not endure your union, marriage counselor advises women as PMG holds Precious Women Conference

A spiritual coach and marital counselor, Hajia Nurat Bolanle Anoba has advised women to put all necessary machineries in motion to enjoy their union and not to endure as the latter is highly devastating in the long run.

Hajia Nurat gave this advice while delivering her lecture titled Rekindling the Sparks in your marriage at the Precious Women Conference organised by the Precious Mother’s Guild, PMG, in Oyo on Sunday.

The conference themed, Our Love till Jannah, was a beehive of remodeling activities aimed at keeping the spark of marriages alive.

In an interview with our reporter after the conference, Hajia Nurat said the lecture was aimed at redirecting women’s minds towards those activities that ensure the purpose of marriage is achieved, noting that couples must work to enjoy their marriage.

She added that, though there are bound to be ups and downs in any marriage, the union must not be allowed to derail.

Hajia hinted that enduring the union is detrimental, not to the couple alone, but to the children in the later years.

“Our women must recognise the fact that for any marriage to work, there must be sacrifices. Conscious decisions at making the union strong, tranquil and peaceful must be made.

Keeping the union going however could be likened to refueling a car. At a point, you observe that the fuel in a car goes down because of constant use, so refueling makes the car going. This analogy equally is true for a happy and successful home.

Doing things together such as eating, playing, joking and spending real time together, rekindles the spark in any given marriage”, she concluded.

It takes two to tango

As no marriage has ever been regarded as perfect, it takes a lot of doings to keep the marriage afloat, elegant, robust and sparkling as it was on the first night.

This could only be achieved when the two parties discharge their responsibilities with a view to rekindling the sparks in marriages.

The above was the position of Alhaja Rizqat Oyin Aleem, former principal, Emmanuel Alayande College of Education Staff School, Oyo who is also a special adviser to the organisation was evidently bitter at the scenarios being experienced in many homes today.

She however appealed to men to replicate the love, trust and confidence reposed in them by women, and be more responsive and responsible in order to achieve a tranquil family where couples enjoy their unions.

“A number of men today do capitalise on the traditional belief that they are the head of the family. Yes, they are. But some of them are not living up to their responsibilities of being our protector and provider.

It is very disheartening seeing lots of women being more responsible economically, footing the family bills. And the so called head of the family doesn’t show a level of understanding and reciprocity.

In this case, the resultant effect is that the tranquility, love and peace in the home will wither. This is automatic”, Alhaja Aleem noted.

Meanwhile, to build a home that will radiate love and peace, she suggested that both parties – husband and wife, should be adequately educated and trained.

Therefore, Alhaja Aleem called for the birth of a forum that will be in charge of the male side, just as PMG has been doing for the womenfolk.

In her own words, the National Coordinator of the organisation, Hajia Nafisat Jumah Afolabi, “constant education on marriage and raising future good husbands and wives, fathers and mothers are important to having a peaceful and happy society.

For this reason, Precious Mothers Guild (PMG), an NGO dedicated to improving lives of women and youth particularly girls through improved education opportunities, general life skill support and sexuality education, organises regular activities, physical and online, across some zones and states of the federation”, she said further.

Earlier in her address, the Oyo zonal coordinator of PMG, Mrs Tijani Islamiyyah, Nee Oreitan said the choice of the conference theme, Our Love till Jannah, was informed by the alarming rate of divorce in the societ today.

Also, the Director of Shifau Rahman Islamic Medicine and Spiritual Home, Iwo, Hajia Ganiyat Adedokun who spoke extensively on Alternative Therapy; Prophetic Medicine for women-related sickness harped on the need for women to take proper care of their health.

By so doing, she said, “healthy family full of joy, peace and love will be created, and the society at large will be healthy, too. This is so because a healthy family is a healthy unit of the society.”

Hajia Ganiyat however established that alternative medicine did not have side effects.
Some of the dignitaries at the programme were Hajia Nafisah Jumah Afolabi, National coordinator PMG, Alhaja Suliyat Jim-Salam, lecturer from Federal College of Education, FCE Oyo, and Alhaja Hadizah Afolabi, Chief Nursing officer, FCE, Oyo.

Others were Alhaja Ojo, Zonal coordinator of FOMWAN, Oyo State, and Alhaja Wahab Asiat, Lecturer from Biology department, Emmanuel Alayande College of Education, EACOED, Oyo.